19 June 2016;

Okay i was up all night thinking whether my life is ever as perfect as everyone else or is it just me who is overthinking which has always been the case when i thought something was off. Because c'mon...we girls are always like this, we always overacting towards small problem. No matter how small it is you won't give it a break. Believe me, that's why people say that girls are complicated because yes they are absolutely freakin' complicated. Okay when i meant 'girls' i meant ALL GIRLS. No exception! 

Well speaking of complicated, I was actually thinking whether i made the right decision to go to France and continue my studies there for 5 years. Honestly speaking, it took me a lot of guts and courage to step foot on this program 2 years back then when i was no where closer to maturity yet. At that time my thought was like "Oh i got to fly to France lah, how awesome!.." Then i apply for this course which i thought would be damn easy because we only need 10/20 to pass. Woa hold it there sweetie...you just decided to make your life even worse. That's what i thought when i first started Pre France program. Yes, it wasn't as easy as it seems. But know what? I've made it! I've finally finished this program and i have no idea how i managed to do it. For heaven sake, I've been through a lot just to get to where i am right now and how on earth would i ever stop my desire to study abroad? I have been dreaming about it since i was a kid. Not to mention all this while i worked my ass off so that i can go somewhere outside Malaysia, be independent and be more mature. I guess most of you here have the same dream, aren't you? Dont be silly of course you guys do...

Tell you what, I've been away with my family since i was 13 years old. They sent me to a boarding school until i graduated because they thought i need to be independent. And yes up until now i think that was the right decision to make because i became stronger day by day each time i'm away from  my love one. Therefore, i wouldn't really mind being away from them even if it takes me to fly across other continent just to be sure that i can really be independent. By doing so, i can also learn to love myself more and appreciate the little things that goes around me. It is time for me to take a huge step in  my life and try to discover something new about myself. To find the true me, and be someone who is worthy of living. Not the me who is always fooling around and doesn't really care of what happen around her. Always take things for granted and etc. But now, now i realised that everything that has happened make sense. I need to step outside my comfort zone and take this one in a lifetime opportunity to show the world what I am capable of doing. Definitely, i think i have made the right decision. So yes ladies and gentlemen, my adventure is calling. 

Much love, Tia.

16 JUNE 2016; 

The fire used to burn, all the words used to hurt

But you're not like us, you are different

I couldn't see that that was a compliment

Cause the last thing I want now is to be you

And the flames don't feel as hot as they use to

Burn, 

They used to yell

You thought I was coal

My friend, I'm gold

Can't you tell?

Cause I'm not weak, I'm not broken I am bold

And the fire you put me through turned me into gold

I'm not done, I'm no loser

Watch me take on my bright future

Tonight I'm no bronze I'm no silver

You'll be thinking, damn I knew her

But you didn't

Don't get it twisted

Out of the ashes you buried me in

I am golden

You tried so hard to break me down

Like a fire-breathing dragon, but I guess I took your crown

You pushed for me to change for you

But I'm so glad that I stayed true to who I am

The fire that you tried to burn me with, it made me who I am

All the things that you said I couldn't do

Guess what, Yes I can

2 June 2016;

How do you call yourself an extroverted introvert? Well, I personally have no clue about it at all. Some say that this kind of people like to talk a lot, but it depend on the situation. Let say you go to a social event that require you to meet and speak with different people, so you have to become a little extrovert on that day to cope with the situation. But after that you will likely to shut yourself up in a room and be alone all by yourself after all the hassle. Mean to say that you only become an extrovert when you need to just to cover up your weakness, perhaps. Am i correct? Well, correct me if I'm wrong. Anyway, you can definitely find this type of people in this world right now. Believe me, because I think I'm one of them. Though maybe this might not be true but aware of it or not, this sounds like you're being yourself, but you're not exactly yourself. Get what I mean? 

Okay, so long story short, the reason why I'm talking about personality all of sudden is because I've talked about this topic today with my friends which give me the idea on what to write on my blog. So that's how I came out with this topic. Actually, we went out to make our visa in the French Embassy. We watched movie and then we all went to Franco to have a drink and chit chatting. Speaking of movie, allow me to diverse our topic for a second to tell you about the movie that we've just watched. It's called "Me Before You'', based on a novel written by Jojo Moyes. 

May I say this is like a movie review for those who still don't watch 'Me Before You'. So heads up people, this is definitely the type of movie that will make you cry your heart out and bring your tears  down no matter what. It is such a beautiful movie the fact that Sam Claflin is so freaking hot! O my God! I don't know if it's just me or anyone else but when I watched this movie I swear I am lost at thought throughout the whole movie. What I mean to say is that I am no where to be found in the real world. I imagined things and daydreamed. It gives me a real feeling on every scene shown in the movie. I gave 100% of my mind, thoughts, and focus to the movie and I literally don't care what happen around me at all. So this movie "Me Before You" really give me these sort of impressions so to speak. I don't like to be a spoiler but I think you guys should definitely need to watch it as the movie itself is very beautiful and amazing. 

Much love

Tia 

27 May 2016;

Wanderlust. A strong desire to travel and explore the world. Who knows twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than the ones you did do. Take this time and opportunities that you have to sail away from the safe harbor, explore, dream and discover. Anywhere our feet and our hearts take us...we should go, experience and breathe something new. It's not like we have the same opportunity again in our lifetime. Today's travelling is not the same as that of years ago because thanks to technology, no longer we can feel homesick from places we have never been before. It only takes a second for us to call home and talk with our love ones. So why do we bother to keep on hold of our dreams the moment we know all of that is definitely possible today.

I am the kind of person who values experience more than money will ever be. The experience that can never be bought with money. Hence, why I wish to put my wanderlust as primary. I haven't been to many places before but I have it all on my wishlist. Of course, like I said it's not wrong to dream because the future will take you there when you believe in it. What most of us don't realize all the time, is the decision that we make are mostly at the expense of someone else. The decisions that are hinder by the opinions and feelings of other people. At least I'm aware of it. It's up to you guys to believe me or not but I believe desire and faith come in handy when you feel like giving up. 

So not long ago, I've made a life-changing decision that I believe will help me for my future endeavors. Let alone all the negative mindset I choose to follow my own path and making my own decision for what I want to be one day. I have to admit that it is not easy to make a decision that can satisfy everyone....come to think of it, it is you who decide what's best for you. The choice is in your hand. 

Et voila, peut-etre qu'il est un peu vague pour dire cela, mais  je pense que j'ai choisi la bonne voie. Comme ca, je suis sure que j'aurais une bonne qualite de vie. Je voyagerais, decouvrirais des nouvelles choses, rencontrerais des gens...et bien, ce qui est tres important, c'est que moi, je serais tres heureux! 

A bientot! 

Much love, Tia

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26 May 2016;

Friends. They make the bad times good, the good times unforgettable. They are simply hard to find and impossible to forget. All of sudden I feel like I want to write about this one special person since today is her birthday. It is the least I can do since we are miles apart and that explain the photo above. It was taken before she went off to France to further her study. Also, this photo is among my favorite because you can see how everyone look so happy, hugging, laughing at each other. Never want to let go. Up until now I never feel more grateful to be surrounded by lots of wonderful people. I never thought any of them would exist. But thanks to my precious gem I believe in true friendship.And that's when it all started. 

Therefore, today's entry is actually an appreciation post that I would like to dedicate to my one and only precious gem (to whom it may concern). Bare in mind that you are really an amazing friend! I am so thankful that I've met you,though we only get to know each other for 1 year now. However, there's no reason for us to not be any closer. Deep down inside me I really wish we could spend more time together.Those time we had was the best moment in my life. I really miss our late night conversations, our stupid jokes, our plans, our tears, our memories, our experiences and everything about you. It feels so empty when you're not around to hear me ranting about stupid things. Actually, it feels even weirder that I cannot see your face every day. It really sucks that we are being separated like this. But anyways, I believe no matter where we are or where we go....we'll never forget each other and you'll always be the gem that I value the most. Once I got there (France)...we definitely need to plan our vacations together. I really can't wait to see you and plans for our next adventure...!! Really looking forward to it. Cheers for more years to come baby girl ! And Happy Birthday To You.

Much love

Tia

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