To Fernweh, With Tia

19 June 2016;

Okay i was up all night thinking whether my life is ever as perfect as everyone else or is it just me who is overthinking which has always been the case when i thought something was off. Because c'mon...we girls are always like this, we always overacting towards small problem. No matter how small it is you won't give it a break. Believe me, that's why people say that girls are complicated because yes they are absolutely freakin' complicated. Okay when i meant 'girls' i meant ALL GIRLS. No exception! 

Well speaking of complicated, I was actually thinking whether i made the right decision to go to France and continue my studies there for 5 years. Honestly speaking, it took me a lot of guts and courage to step foot on this program 2 years back then when i was no where closer to maturity yet. At that time my thought was like "Oh i got to fly to France lah, how awesome!.." Then i apply for this course which i thought would be damn easy because we only need 10/20 to pass. Woa hold it there sweetie...you just decided to make your life even worse. That's what i thought when i first started Pre France program. Yes, it wasn't as easy as it seems. But know what? I've made it! I've finally finished this program and i have no idea how i managed to do it. For heaven sake, I've been through a lot just to get to where i am right now and how on earth would i ever stop my desire to study abroad? I have been dreaming about it since i was a kid. Not to mention all this while i worked my ass off so that i can go somewhere outside Malaysia, be independent and be more mature. I guess most of you here have the same dream, aren't you? Dont be silly of course you guys do...

Tell you what, I've been away with my family since i was 13 years old. They sent me to a boarding school until i graduated because they thought i need to be independent. And yes up until now i think that was the right decision to make because i became stronger day by day each time i'm away from  my love one. Therefore, i wouldn't really mind being away from them even if it takes me to fly across other continent just to be sure that i can really be independent. By doing so, i can also learn to love myself more and appreciate the little things that goes around me. It is time for me to take a huge step in  my life and try to discover something new about myself. To find the true me, and be someone who is worthy of living. Not the me who is always fooling around and doesn't really care of what happen around her. Always take things for granted and etc. But now, now i realised that everything that has happened make sense. I need to step outside my comfort zone and take this one in a lifetime opportunity to show the world what I am capable of doing. Definitely, i think i have made the right decision. So yes ladies and gentlemen, my adventure is calling. 

Much love, Tia.